New theory on weather patterns!
Now before you go rushing off thinking this is some scientific
look at world wide weather patterns, please remember this
is the home of mad theories therefore theres always an, erm,
interesting twist! :)
The places mentioned here are all in the UK, mainly because
when this was originally created it was to explain it to someone
in the UK and it just so happens I live there too. However
you'll probably recognise the types of places I'm talking
about and therefore it can be translated to anywhere.
Oh and I do want to stress - some of the notions here are
very stereo-typical and I'm not having a go at any particular
cities or their populations! ;-)
On with the show...
The "Ideas so iffy even our pet gerbils will chew holes
in it" dept. of Trev's Wacky Ideas Inc. is currently working
on the theory that the moods and even accents can influence
the local weather in areas where large numbers of people gather
together, eg: cities & rock concerts.
OK, for this study we took 2 cities - Edinburgh & Glasgow
- although we believe this scales up to larger areas too.
First off we have Edinburgh which is generally described
as a fairly vibrant city and therefore the population could
be described as generally quite happy. This happy feeling
therefore translates into the way they talk to each other
especially say friends meeting in the street. The conversation
is jolly and quite brisk in pace.
Now we look at Glasgow which generally could be described
as a more depressed city where people are much less likely
to speak to hold long conversations on the streets and all
conversations tend to be in a slow sort of depressed tone.
So what has this got to do with the weather?
The answer is simple - the people of Edinburgh by talking
to each other a lot more and having brisk fast flowing conversations
expell much more air at greater speed with each sentence than
the people of Glasgow.
Now if we scale this up, the Edinburgh residents cause greater
air disturbance which reduces the chances of any water which
is evaporating around them from forming into large clusters
of droplets and thus when it reaches a high enough altitude
it's not dense enough to cause clouds & rain...
Therefore this is the reason it rains less in Edinburgh than
We've even named this the "airflow : sentence length ratio".
We just aren't good enough at maths to actually work out the
The same can occur in any city, eg: this explains why Manchester
gets rained on more than Leeds. It also explains why rock
concerts are less rained on as most of the people are happily
singing along....admittidly at Glastonbury this theory did
take a bit of a knock a few years back.
So what's this got to do with accents?
Well if you take for example the Cumbrian or Yorkshire accents
(from what I remember), they tend to be fairly low pitched
and therefore a slower air flow : sentence ratio thus not
having the same effect and resulting in a higher rainfall
overall. Geordie accents on the other hand are quite upbeat
and it rarely seems to rain in Newcastle...
Oh for anyone wanting to explore this worldwide - this definetely
explains California's weather!
Back to mad theories....