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New theory on weather patterns!

Now before you go rushing off thinking this is some scientific look at world wide weather patterns, please remember this is the home of mad theories therefore theres always an, erm, interesting twist! :)

The places mentioned here are all in the UK, mainly because when this was originally created it was to explain it to someone in the UK and it just so happens I live there too. However you'll probably recognise the types of places I'm talking about and therefore it can be translated to anywhere.

Oh and I do want to stress - some of the notions here are very stereo-typical and I'm not having a go at any particular cities or their populations! ;-)

On with the show...

The "Ideas so iffy even our pet gerbils will chew holes in it" dept. of Trev's Wacky Ideas Inc. is currently working on the theory that the moods and even accents can influence the local weather in areas where large numbers of people gather together, eg: cities & rock concerts.

OK, for this study we took 2 cities - Edinburgh & Glasgow - although we believe this scales up to larger areas too.

First off we have Edinburgh which is generally described as a fairly vibrant city and therefore the population could be described as generally quite happy. This happy feeling therefore translates into the way they talk to each other especially say friends meeting in the street. The conversation is jolly and quite brisk in pace.

Now we look at Glasgow which generally could be described as a more depressed city where people are much less likely to speak to hold long conversations on the streets and all conversations tend to be in a slow sort of depressed tone.

So what has this got to do with the weather?

The answer is simple - the people of Edinburgh by talking to each other a lot more and having brisk fast flowing conversations expell much more air at greater speed with each sentence than the people of Glasgow.

Now if we scale this up, the Edinburgh residents cause greater air disturbance which reduces the chances of any water which is evaporating around them from forming into large clusters of droplets and thus when it reaches a high enough altitude it's not dense enough to cause clouds & rain...

Therefore this is the reason it rains less in Edinburgh than Glasgow!

We've even named this the "airflow : sentence length ratio". We just aren't good enough at maths to actually work out the equation... :-)

The same can occur in any city, eg: this explains why Manchester gets rained on more than Leeds. It also explains why rock concerts are less rained on as most of the people are happily singing along....admittidly at Glastonbury this theory did take a bit of a knock a few years back.

So what's this got to do with accents?

Well if you take for example the Cumbrian or Yorkshire accents (from what I remember), they tend to be fairly low pitched and therefore a slower air flow : sentence ratio thus not having the same effect and resulting in a higher rainfall overall. Geordie accents on the other hand are quite upbeat and it rarely seems to rain in Newcastle...

Oh for anyone wanting to explore this worldwide - this definetely explains California's weather!

Back to mad theories....

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Last Updated: 19th April 2008